Another Perk of Aging

Aging is pretty well disdained in our culture.  Grey hair and wrinkles are hidden from sight as long as possible.  Money buys new body parts, new teeth, new knees and new hips.  But aging is fun too as far as I'm concerned.  One thing that I didn't expect was the feeling of understanding so much more.  One area where this wisdom shines through is the deeper, wider appreciation of children.  I see and appreciate children so much more than I did when I was younger.  Oh, I loved our children dearly and would have died for any of them if necessary but I never had the perspective that comes from moving through the stages of life.  Part of it, I'm sure, is the fact that in retirement there is so much more time to sit back and observe and think instead of rushing about trying to keep the family fed and clothed and all the juggled balls in the air.  I now have seen our children and the children of family and friends grow from darling infants into capable adults.  I've seen those babies bring forth babies of their own.  I've seen how each little child is so much an individual - each a very unique soul and full of so much potential.  I understand the cycle of life so much more after moving through most of the stages.  Now when I'm privileged to go help out at our son and daughter-in-law's day care, I marvel at the thought that each of the little beings in attendance will someday be the parents and then the grandparents and, God willing, the great grandparents.  Each of these little personalities will grow and learn and hopefully make the world a better place for having been here.  Their journey is just beginning and each journey will be unique.  If only our world would unite in the task of insuring that every child would have a kind and joy filled journey................The pictures are of the beautiful clematis on our wall and some beautiful children.  Look at their faces and try to imagine what they will be as adults.

Tears are Meant to Wash the Pain Away

It's been quite a while since I last placed my thoughts here in cyberspace.  No, I didn't die.  I've just been living a life filled with activity and I lack the self discipline to sit myself down and gather my thoughts and share them with my fellow journeyers.  It's quite awesome to know that anyone out there in the world can read this and some do.  Some from other countries and states and even our own state, have commented on various entries and I love it when they do..  It reinforces my strong belief that we people of the earth are fellow travelers and much more alike than different.  I mentioned dying earlier because death has been a steady visitor over the past year.  First we lost Ann, the 93 year old mother-in-law of my brother.  Ann was love-personified.  She laughed and smiled through pain filled days and helped wherever she could.  Janice was next. She was only 62 and had lived since age 18 with only one lung.  She was the wife of one of Bing's best friends and we raised our kids together.  Alice was next, my oldest brother's wife, she was 69.  Her five children and a deep deep respect for life were her legacies.  Then, on March 29th,  Milli died.  Milli was Bing's mom and she made it to age 99.  She was a strong feisty woman and a lover of God right through to her peaceful death.  Reminders of each of these people pop in and out of mind in the days after their demise and there is a blank space where there used to be vibrancy.  I often think, why couldn't I have been wiser sooner?  Why didn't I take the time to be more loving or to acknowledge the importance of all those who have gone before me?  Why do I make so many good intentions and not follow through?  But, luckily I remember the biblical saying that says there is a season for everything under heaven.  I believe there will be a season for doing everything right!  Won't that be nice!..............  The pictures are from a Spring visit from a mama bear and her two cubs.  They spend their afternoons in the corn field near our mail box.

How Do I Know Thee, Let Me Count The Ways

In the title of this posting, I took a little liberty with Emily Dickinson's famous poetry, "how do I love thee...." I've been struck recently about deep deep things like life and death and legacy, about an individual's story and how each of us leaves a mark on this world. My brother, Mark's wife, Alice, died this month. She was only 3 months younger than me and she and Mark were married in 1966. Over those years, we may have only seen Alice about ten times. Mark was in the Air Force and they moved around a lot the first five years of their marriage and then they settled in Bellevue, Ne., about 600 miles from here. I do regret that throughout those years I never really got to know Alice. Neither of us were conscientious about writing and her five children and our three children and then her eight grandchildren and our six grandchildren kept the days and months passing by without connection. So, it was beautiful to see on Facebook, testimonials and reflections from her children of just what a loving and compassionate being that Alice was. At her funeral Mass, her nephew spoke a bit of her story and shone more light on her goodness and uniqueness. All five of her children are warm and welcoming, kind and loving and in getting to know them and their families, we get to learn more about Alice. May she rest in peace. P.S. When we came home from the funeral trip to Bellevue, the pictured black bunny seemed to have taken up residence in our yard. Since Alice had dark black hair, we named the bunny, Alice.

Closely Gaurded Secrets of the Elderly

One of the craziest things about getting older is that only your exterior ages. Inside you still have the heart of a child. Games and stories and friendly people still delight you. Nature and all its glory still stirs your soul as your five senses grasp its multifaceted displays. The soft stillness of a sunrise, the flaming dramatic sunset, the warm summer rain, the crisp clean grip of a cold winter day, the smell of woodsmoke on an Autumn stroll - you loved these things as a child and you love them still. I remember clearly how I regarded my in-laws when Bing and I were in our twenties. I thought they were old. They were in their mid fifties. When we made it to 50, we were astonished to see that the fifties are still young and you feel no older than before. Now it seems that a period of twenty years is about the gap that makes you think a certain age is elderly. In the 40's, anyone 60 or older, in your fifties, anyone in the seventies. Now at age 70, I still look at those in their nineties as quite old. But gradually I'm learning that age doesn't mean much.. Those in their 70's, 80's and 90's still love the little things of life - games and stories and friendly people. My little secret is sledding. We live in a place where no neighbors can see me whiz down the hill to the lake. I love it. It tickles my inner soul to feel the rush of wind as I pick up speed on my own personal luge chute. I love the workout of climbing back up the hill and starting all over again. I love the cold cold air on my warm warm cheeks. I feel young and specially blessed.

No Turning Back, No Turning Back

As I alter my clothes from size 3XL to 12/14, the line from the song,"No Turning Back," drones over and over in my head. I've done it! I've lost the 95 pounds that I set out to lose. I'm taking away lots of material in my pants, sweatshirts and even my winter coat - yay, no turning back! I started the quest on May 16th, 2011. I didn't want to write about my mission and my goal in this blog because so many times throughout the last four decades, I have tried and I have failed. I was afraid that this try would end like all the others - hopeful at first but with no sustainable weight loss and even lots of times, weight gains. But, thanks be to God and the Dukan Diet by Dr. Pierre Dukan, I was able to read his book and totally commit to following his plan. It isn't over because the plan includes a way to work your way back to eating without regaining the weight and then a permanent stabilization plan. But, since February 3rd, I've maintained the loss and will be vigilant. Part of my plan is to help anyone else who would like to conquer obesity, mine was considered morbid obesity, and if you think I can help, please just ask. The diet rquires strict adherence to the plan but it actually works as it promises. In the picture, I've set up a sewing center in the living room near the woodburner so it's a cozy warm winter alteration place.

Pictures from the Last Post

A New Nine Year Old

Our fourth grandchild, Alexa, turns nine today. She's a wonderful child, sweet and loving and strong and pretty. On the birthdays of the grandchildren the last several years, we have taken them shopping and let them pick out their own gifts. It seems to give them a good idea of the value and limits of dollars and the ability to compare and decide what they want the most. But this year Alexa asked if, instead of shopping, we could use the money to go to the Children's Museum with her brother and sister. So, go we did. Yesterday, the five of us drove up to Eagle River, about thirty miles away, and spent almost four hours in a children's paradise. The population of Eagle River is only about 1300, but the museum has been a fixture for many years and is a non-profit venture paid for by donations and admittance. Since our grandkids are home schooled, their folks considered it a field trip and there were only about six to ten other kids there, so they had free rein to all the exhibits and hands on fun. They really could have stayed the whole day but Bing and I caught up on some reading and then pried them loose by offering a lunch at Subway where they each put away a foot long Veggie Delight. Bing took a lot of pictures to comemorate the happy birthday trip and I've included some. They loved the dress up, the ambulance, the wheel chairs and the very well equipped store, complete with scanner at the checkout.